Why Women Aren't Important (According to IM)

According to Invisible Man, the real women question is this: Why do women want to use me as a sexual object, and why should they have rights? Not only is that largely offensive to myself and anyone else who has read Wikipedia articles on feminism on any given night, it’s not the right questions that should be posed about women. Some better questions could be posed from many archetypal women, especially many that Walt Disney decided to animate.
1. Why do women need to be saved by men riding a gleaming white horse? Well, that’s an easy and simple question. See, in the archetypal sense, women did not actually gain independence nor brain function until approximately the 16th century. Before then, women were burned at the stakes for such grievances, and just to make sure we got all the witches we still burned women later on for not being married by 20. Anyways, women have always been considered somewhat helpless, and that they need saving of some sorts. Take a look at nearly any Disney movie involving a princess. Cinderella, she needed saving by the prince to escape her ugly family who abused her mercilessly – women weren’t granted loans back then. Ariel the mermaid, see she needed to escape from her underwater playground to go marry a man she has never had a serious conversation with. These are the morals that need to be instilled in our children today, Invisible Man, not that we are all fighting white man’s oppression.
2. Why do women only appear at inappropriate moments to demand things from me, unless they’re acting as a Mary figure? Good question, IM, good question. See, the tricky thing about women is that they like to use men – oh wait, maybe the fact that you’re in a very open political movement about fighting oppression isn’t the greatest way to start out a dinner conversation. See, politics and religion are two things you do not need to bring up on a first date. Do you know what you’ve just talked about for the past 350 pages? The fact that the only woman you’ve ever liked was named Mary, and you are the member of an organization extremely dedicated to getting black rights. In fact, there’s so much serpent imagery around that I feel as if you’re intending to just relate characters in your past to religious figures in order to illustrate your race’s subjugation to white men and the religion forced on them generations ago. Maybe you should join a book club or something; that should help your relations with the ladies.
3. Why do women only wear red? Okay, Invisible Man, we all know most of the encounters you have with women involve them wearing either a red robe or having red nail polish. But, considering that you are so caught up on the religious imagery, we usually find that red means either lust or the devil – or both in your cases! I would find a nice girl that is wearing a nice green or blue dress, in fact go with the blue dress. She’ll match your innards, according to your relation to Louise Armstrong songs.