Disenchantment

Sometimes there are defining moments in your life where you stand at a crossroads. The fork in the road is definitive of where you could be going, however neither path is nescessarily right or wrong. However, the road leading to the fork in the road is the past, the history, and cannot be changed. The crossroads, thus, become concrete, and you have to weigh your options for as they are right now, not on the basis of what you wish had happened.
Okay, so what I just typed means nothing without context. But, I find myself at a crossroads this very moment. Recently, I've been having "issues" with a friend of mine, one who has remained extremely close to me for a number of years. So, now, to let out frustration I'm going to address you personally.
Within the past few months, you have complained to me about how I don't try. I don't put effort into the relationship. How, essentially, its all my fault for our dwindeling relationship. But,you can't see it how I do try. I'm the one who always goes along with your friends. I'm the one who always goes along with your interests, even though you know I don't really care all that much. I'm the one who sits stagnant, writing college essays typically, while you go along with your plans.
I've never been under this much stress before in my life. Not to rant, but the work load for 18 college applications is extremely overwhelming. So I am not, particularly, in the best position to worry about our relationships. But, the times where I'm not at work are few and far between, so it meant alot to me that this time you would come visit MY friends. Come see MY interests, as oppossed to your own. That, maybe, you would see I do try, and that you could branch apart from your own social bubble, and come see my own. However, you didn't. You blew me off, even though it meant the world to me. And you chose your new friends over your old, just like you think I do time and time again. However, I've never chosen anyone over you, I've chosen working hard and pain over pleasure. However, you continually choose over me, even though you are not plaguaed by strenous work. You have chosen a crossroads in your life, whether you recognize that or not. You have chosen a path that does not require, perhaps, a moment of social silence, nor have you chosen a path to stress your work ethic. I, however, am choosing a different path. I am choosing a path that involves today being strenous so that tomorrow I can be happy. I believe you to be selfish in some circumstances, and jaded in others. So, just realize, you're on your own path with your own definitive friends. And I am on my own.
-Carson
P.s. - I'm thinking its going to be Noah's Ark version 2.0 soon. In order to save gas today, I believe I am just going to swim home. Might be more effective.